Lazy? Really??

I’m a lurker in several different Facebook groups for people affected by language and/or literacy issues. Awhile back, a person had posted about how their child’s teacher had contacted them and basically said “your kid is lazy and a pain in the ***”. Ok, so that was definitely not a direct quote (although, in my defense, I went back and looked for the post and couldn’t find it to save my soul). Any rate, this parent was (rightfully so, in my opinion) very upset about this note. I wanted to reach out and support this complete stranger (hence the reason I went back to look for the post). I couldn’t find it— ah shucks, I guess I should have replied instead of lurking, I’ll get over it and forget about it. But I haven’t. It has been rolling around in my brain. The post had made me think of a podcast episode where the guest was talking about laziness and language difficulties. Surprise, surprise— I couldn’t find the episode when I went back looking. lol

I finally found it though! It was an episode on Tiffany Hogan’s See Hear Speak podcast with Mabel Rice. Tiffany asked about ‘kids that just need to try harder’. Mabel’s response was:

Well, trying harder is really prejudicial. Typically developing kids don’t try at all. They didn’t get to their advantage because they applied themselves.

I’ve worked with so many families that have told me about how many hours their kiddo spends doing their homework. About how many tears are shed (on both sides! ;-\) over homework.

Imagine if you came across a log in your path while you were out walking. You’d step over it and wouldn’t think a thing about it. But imagine now that you get to the end of your walk and you hear two people talking about how horrible their walk was, how hard it was, how long it took them. There’s only 1 path in the area, so you know that they just finished the exact same walk you did. It wasn’t hard— in fact, it was a very easy walk, more of a stroll really. Those two must either be a) lazy or b) really out of shape. You turn around to get a look at the people you’ve been listening to and there’s no one there. You still hear them, so you know they’re still there and discover that it’s a “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids” situation (if you’re too young to get the reference- google it, it’s a good movie). The people whose conversation you’ve been overhearing are 4 inches tall! You think back to that log that made you stop your brisk pace to step over (it was a BIG log!) and then think about what it would have been like to cross that log if you were 4inches tall. Those two people you’ve been listening to are not lazy nor out of shape, quite the opposite actually.

Obviously, that is incredibly silly, but you get my point. Our kiddos with language and learning differences are not lazy! They are having to work so much harder than typically developing kiddos to get to the same spot. They are showing up and running, while most of their peers just are out for a stroll.